As I typically do before bed, I was scrolling through internet posts on Imgur.com hoping for cute cat videos and such. I paused on a picture of a tiger in a cardboard box. It was cute and he was gorgeous, but he was clearly in a sad concrete enclosure and the box was the best thing he had. I read through the comments to see if anyone else had noticed something similar. Instead I came across a truly disturbing comment about something someone had experienced. I tried to put the thought out of my mind and resumed looking for something fun to wash away the negative. I quickly found more funny posts, felt better, and went to sleep.
On my long run today, what pops back into my head? The situation from the comment yesterday. I must have scanned through 50 posts, most of which were hilarious, but the thing that stuck was the one sentence comment. Given my habit of scrolling through the news, facebook, or other sites during spare minutes of the day, I’m certain that I will read or see something upsetting over the course of the day. Plastered all over the internet are countless examples of people and animals being murdered, tortured, neglected, subjected to chronic suffering or even going extinct. As much as I try to avoid reading horrible things, I waver on whether or not it’s good to be aware that these things happen. If we don’t know about them, how do we do something about them? But that’s the problem – I usually can’t help that one tiger in a cage or those that have it even worse. Instead, I take the those images and carry them with me.
Since it was a long run, I had plenty of time to reflect on this. I realized that my error has been in thinking these collisions with awfulness will only have a relatively short-lived impact on my happiness. It might be overly dramatic to equate our exposure to violence as closer to mercury accumulating in our bodies, benign at low levels but toxic with added exposure. Is it wrong to resolve to avoid the news and social media and only watch romantic comedies? If I donate to a few organizations that are able to help, is it reasonable to protect myself and put up a closely guarded perimeter? What’s worse – to feel deep empathy or to be desensitized? If I feel this way after only reading and watching, then how much worse is it for those that are in it?
Every person’s line is different, but mine has been crossed. I’m hoping that the damage done is more like that caused by smoking – the wounds will heal with cessation and enough time.